Well, I swanee! There hasn't been this much wailing and railing, gnashing of teeth, tearing of hair, beating of breasts, and ripping of lapels since Fox Books drove The Shop Around the Corner out of business.
Similar evolutionary business developments have occurred in real life. Wal-mart spelled doom for a variety of mom and pop operations. The Home Depot and Lowe's caused the demise of many small Ace Hardware and True Value stores. Walgreens and CVS did in almost all the little corner drug stores scattered in towns around the country. And now we in the Tampa Bay area are soon to witness the incursion of Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World.
Don't know what Bass Pro Shops is? Check out "Last Man Standing", the Tim Allen sitcom that airs on ABC on Friday nights. His Outdoor Man store is essentially what Bass Pro Shops is all about.
Anyhoo, you would think this coup would be a cause for universal celebration. Bass Pro Shops is, after all, a "chain store mecca for hunters and recreational fishermen that is both a shopping palace and indoor expo." It draws customers from miles around. Because of its wild popularity, other stores spring up around it like remoras to a shark. It provides jobs, both for its initial construction and its retail operations.
To woo Bass Pro Shops to its future location in Estuary, a retail complex near Brandon, Hillsborough County anted up $6.25 million in road improvements. Estuary will benefit by gaining a powerful anchor tenant which should help fill the rest of the complex.
"I have a very clear conscience in supporting this project," said one county commissioner. "This is about economic development at its best."
"In my 10 years on the County Commission, the county has not had an economic development opportunity that generates such an immediate return on investment," said another commissioner. Indeed, the $6.25 mil is expected to be paid back in a mere four years.
Win, win, right? Not so fast, Pollyanna. Enter now the buzz-kills.
"I have a real issue with using taxpayer dollars for a multibillion-dollar company to grow its business," said the lone dissenting commissioner. And yet he has no issue at all with spending taxpayer dollars for the multimillion-dollar boondoggle that is light rail.
"Corporate welfare!" screamed one newspaper columnist. What alarmist hyperbole! Corporate welfare is subsidizing businesses that would otherwise fail. This is corporate investment.
Several business owners also have their knickers in knots over the spending of tax dollars on a project they see as benefiting an out-of-state megachain that will compete against them for customers.
Horrors! You mean this may very well spell doom for long-time establishments such as Joe's Stinky Bait Shoppe, Billy Bob's Beef Jerky Emporium, and Leroy's Galleria of Lures and Jackknives? Can our economic system survive the extinction of such arcane Americana?
I think so. I'm more concerned about the evolution of the Hillsborough County Commission. Now that the comedy relief tag team of Ronda "Boom-Boom" Storms and Brian "Killer Bee" Blair have long since gone, the commission is a lot less fun.
But we take hope from Commissioner Les Miller. Les paid his wife $13,186 for "services rendered" as his campaign manager in 2011 and 2012, a campaign during which he ran unopposed. Is this a great country, or what?
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Profile of a Florida Legislator
As budding political dynasties go, this one is more apt to evolve into the Borgias than the Kennedys.
She is a Haitian-American and had graduated a registered nurse from a college in Port-au-Prince. She and her husband moved to Florida, and in 2002 she formed a company and became owner of several group homes for the elderly and disabled. Her facilities were less like those of "Cocoon" and more like Arkham.
Under her watch, a male patient raped a female patient who died shortly after the assault. A second patient suffered a facial cut and developed a fungus infection. She died two days after having finally been taken to hospital. A third patient choked to death on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A fourth died after being taken to hospital with a suspected bowel obstruction. Inspectors from the Department of Elderly Affairs found rodent droppings on food shelves and dead roaches on the floors. Her employees complained of having to work 80-hour weeks.
By 2006, after just four years, the DEA had had enough. After all, nursing homes may be way stations between this world and the next, but they're supposed to ease the journey, not expedite it. The department cancelled its contract with the nurse's company.
In the meantime, her husband, who has a felony conviction for mortgage fraud, was alleged to have used the identifications of two business partners to defraud the DEA of hundreds of thousands of dollars. He is currently in bankruptcy and two of his properties are in foreclosure.
Looking for an alternate career path, the nurse, Daphne Campbell, ran for state representative from Florida's HR District 108, which comprises a large section of Miami. She was elected in 2010 and began at once slopping at the public trough.
In 2011, her 28-year-old son was charged with Medicare fraud for allegedly billing the government for $299,000 worth of services through separate group homes, services he did not provide.
Last year, her secretary was arrested for defrauding Haitian constituents of thousands of dollars by charging them fees to assist them with mortgage issues, immigration concerns, and traffic violation summonses.
First order of business for Representative Campbell in 2013? Get rid of the red-light cameras installed at intersections to shoot pictures of those running red traffic lights.
"My constituents complained and the people are hurting," she said. "I promised them when I went to Tallahassee that I would repeal the red-light cameras."
One of those constituents, perhaps the only one, was her husband, who had racked up four $158 tickets. One photo of his minivan plainly shows a Campbell campaign sticker on it. Two videos show it making reckless turns on red, one left and the other right. Representative Campbell admitted to having received a ticket herself in October, but did not know anything about the other four.
"Something is definitely wrong," she told a reporter. "You are the one who just told me about it. This is news to me."
"I don't know how she wouldn't know, unless her husband didn't tell her," said a spokesperson for American Traffic Solutions, the vendor that supplies the cameras. "Someone there knows about them because three have been paid."
Despite the video footage of the minivan blowing through red lights, she didn't believe it. "It's a lie," said Representative Campbell. "That camera is a made-up story. You can do anything with the computer now."
Is that your strategy, your ladyship? Ignorance and denial? Seriously? We are to believe you had no idea your secretary was selling access to your office to the very people who pay your salary? You had no clue that your son was ripping off taxpayers by defrauding Medicae? You deny the hard evidence of your husband's scofflaw and instead blame the technology that caught him in the act?
Good thing you're in the minority party in the Legislature. You can only take up space when you're there, and no one misses you when you're not.
She is a Haitian-American and had graduated a registered nurse from a college in Port-au-Prince. She and her husband moved to Florida, and in 2002 she formed a company and became owner of several group homes for the elderly and disabled. Her facilities were less like those of "Cocoon" and more like Arkham.
Under her watch, a male patient raped a female patient who died shortly after the assault. A second patient suffered a facial cut and developed a fungus infection. She died two days after having finally been taken to hospital. A third patient choked to death on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A fourth died after being taken to hospital with a suspected bowel obstruction. Inspectors from the Department of Elderly Affairs found rodent droppings on food shelves and dead roaches on the floors. Her employees complained of having to work 80-hour weeks.
By 2006, after just four years, the DEA had had enough. After all, nursing homes may be way stations between this world and the next, but they're supposed to ease the journey, not expedite it. The department cancelled its contract with the nurse's company.
In the meantime, her husband, who has a felony conviction for mortgage fraud, was alleged to have used the identifications of two business partners to defraud the DEA of hundreds of thousands of dollars. He is currently in bankruptcy and two of his properties are in foreclosure.
Looking for an alternate career path, the nurse, Daphne Campbell, ran for state representative from Florida's HR District 108, which comprises a large section of Miami. She was elected in 2010 and began at once slopping at the public trough.
In 2011, her 28-year-old son was charged with Medicare fraud for allegedly billing the government for $299,000 worth of services through separate group homes, services he did not provide.
Last year, her secretary was arrested for defrauding Haitian constituents of thousands of dollars by charging them fees to assist them with mortgage issues, immigration concerns, and traffic violation summonses.
First order of business for Representative Campbell in 2013? Get rid of the red-light cameras installed at intersections to shoot pictures of those running red traffic lights.
"My constituents complained and the people are hurting," she said. "I promised them when I went to Tallahassee that I would repeal the red-light cameras."
One of those constituents, perhaps the only one, was her husband, who had racked up four $158 tickets. One photo of his minivan plainly shows a Campbell campaign sticker on it. Two videos show it making reckless turns on red, one left and the other right. Representative Campbell admitted to having received a ticket herself in October, but did not know anything about the other four.
"Something is definitely wrong," she told a reporter. "You are the one who just told me about it. This is news to me."
"I don't know how she wouldn't know, unless her husband didn't tell her," said a spokesperson for American Traffic Solutions, the vendor that supplies the cameras. "Someone there knows about them because three have been paid."
Despite the video footage of the minivan blowing through red lights, she didn't believe it. "It's a lie," said Representative Campbell. "That camera is a made-up story. You can do anything with the computer now."
Is that your strategy, your ladyship? Ignorance and denial? Seriously? We are to believe you had no idea your secretary was selling access to your office to the very people who pay your salary? You had no clue that your son was ripping off taxpayers by defrauding Medicae? You deny the hard evidence of your husband's scofflaw and instead blame the technology that caught him in the act?
Good thing you're in the minority party in the Legislature. You can only take up space when you're there, and no one misses you when you're not.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Would You Eat This?
Years of gallivating around the planet exposed me to any number of culinary opportunities. Some were to die for; others...well, possibly to die of.
Some foods might have been good, but I just couldn't get to the point of actually biting into them. Folks who have eaten snake tell me it tastes just like chicken. My response is, fine, then I'll just have chicken. Calamari? Pass. Escargot? Pass the barf bag. Caviar? Please!
When I went through both survival and jungle survival schools I was introduced to all the grubs, insects, rodents and other skin-crawling fauna I could use to ward off starvation. I determined then that, given that menu, I was very likely going to die.
Stuff I have tried that I wish I hadn't include saimin, a raw fish and noodle dish I sampled in Hawaii. I ordered steak and kidney pie once in Edinburgh, just to see what made this one of Britain's specialty dishes. I'm still trying to figure it out. Once in the good ol' US of A I ordered anchovies on a pizza. I know, right?
During this process of tasting, or passing on, various foods, I did find some gems. Kobe steak in Thailand is one, a hunk of beef (water buffalo?) the size of a large baked potato the thought of which still makes me drool. I became addicted to Mongolian barbecue in Taiwan, where, incidently, I also enjoyed exquisite Russian soup. The best lasagna I ever had was not in Italy, but came from a brick oven at the Rummel Brewery in Darmstadt.
Of course, here at home I have my favorite foods and know just where to get them: rotisserie pulled pork sandwich piled high with deep-fried onion strings in Wisconsin at Lake Geneva's Popeye's, chicken pot pie at any Bakers Square, gyros at Seminole's Greek Village, Cuban sandwiches at Columbia's on Sand Key, Skyline chili in either Cincinnati or Clearwater, etc, etc, ad yummy.
All this is by way of intro to a "Tampa Bay Times" column by Sean Daly, wherein he describes new items available at the Florida State Fair.
* Pizza cone: Find it difficult to walk around the fairgrounds while trying to eat a sagging slice of pizza, the toppings of which are sliding off onto your shirt or the ground? No problem! Here, the pizza crust is shaped into a cone and filled with six ounces of the toppings of your choice, plus enough cheese "to feed an entire family in Wisconsin."
* Cereal chicken on a stick: Take a plank of white-meat chicen and coat it with your choice of cereals: Cap'n Crunchy, Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, Rice Krispies or Honey Bunches of Oats. Deep fry it and, if you prefer, drizzle it with peanut butter or marshmallow. You ask me, it's a waste of good chicken. But what do I know?
* "Redneck with attitude" burger: Place a hamburger patty on a bun. Pile it high with fired bologna, potato sticks, baked beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. Daly found it "AWESOME," but seeing as how I hate fried bologna I doubt I would share his recommendation.
* Pumpkin spice funnel cake: Added to the already famous red velvet funnel cake are new flavors pumpkin spice with frosted drizzle, pecans and "frenzy of powdered sugar," and pineapple inside out.
Well, it's like Hannibal explained to the little boy just before he fed him a tidbit of FBI agent Krindler's brain: "You should try new things."
Fair enough. You first.
Some foods might have been good, but I just couldn't get to the point of actually biting into them. Folks who have eaten snake tell me it tastes just like chicken. My response is, fine, then I'll just have chicken. Calamari? Pass. Escargot? Pass the barf bag. Caviar? Please!
When I went through both survival and jungle survival schools I was introduced to all the grubs, insects, rodents and other skin-crawling fauna I could use to ward off starvation. I determined then that, given that menu, I was very likely going to die.
Stuff I have tried that I wish I hadn't include saimin, a raw fish and noodle dish I sampled in Hawaii. I ordered steak and kidney pie once in Edinburgh, just to see what made this one of Britain's specialty dishes. I'm still trying to figure it out. Once in the good ol' US of A I ordered anchovies on a pizza. I know, right?
During this process of tasting, or passing on, various foods, I did find some gems. Kobe steak in Thailand is one, a hunk of beef (water buffalo?) the size of a large baked potato the thought of which still makes me drool. I became addicted to Mongolian barbecue in Taiwan, where, incidently, I also enjoyed exquisite Russian soup. The best lasagna I ever had was not in Italy, but came from a brick oven at the Rummel Brewery in Darmstadt.
Of course, here at home I have my favorite foods and know just where to get them: rotisserie pulled pork sandwich piled high with deep-fried onion strings in Wisconsin at Lake Geneva's Popeye's, chicken pot pie at any Bakers Square, gyros at Seminole's Greek Village, Cuban sandwiches at Columbia's on Sand Key, Skyline chili in either Cincinnati or Clearwater, etc, etc, ad yummy.
All this is by way of intro to a "Tampa Bay Times" column by Sean Daly, wherein he describes new items available at the Florida State Fair.
* Pizza cone: Find it difficult to walk around the fairgrounds while trying to eat a sagging slice of pizza, the toppings of which are sliding off onto your shirt or the ground? No problem! Here, the pizza crust is shaped into a cone and filled with six ounces of the toppings of your choice, plus enough cheese "to feed an entire family in Wisconsin."
* Cereal chicken on a stick: Take a plank of white-meat chicen and coat it with your choice of cereals: Cap'n Crunchy, Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, Rice Krispies or Honey Bunches of Oats. Deep fry it and, if you prefer, drizzle it with peanut butter or marshmallow. You ask me, it's a waste of good chicken. But what do I know?
* "Redneck with attitude" burger: Place a hamburger patty on a bun. Pile it high with fired bologna, potato sticks, baked beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. Daly found it "AWESOME," but seeing as how I hate fried bologna I doubt I would share his recommendation.
* Pumpkin spice funnel cake: Added to the already famous red velvet funnel cake are new flavors pumpkin spice with frosted drizzle, pecans and "frenzy of powdered sugar," and pineapple inside out.
Well, it's like Hannibal explained to the little boy just before he fed him a tidbit of FBI agent Krindler's brain: "You should try new things."
Fair enough. You first.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Of Guns, Entitlements and Financial Ruin
Wondrous words of wit and wisdom with which to while away a waning week....
* Gun Control: I don't have a recipe in this cook-off. I don't have a horse in this race, or a dog in this hunt. Last time I fired a weapon was on a military firing range. I carried a .38 on my hip like a gunslinger when I flew combat support missions, but I never fired one and probably would have hit everything but a target if I had. One crewmember who did was playing with it between launch and orbit when it went off. The bullet penetrated both the fuselage and a wing. Luckily, the bullet was not a tracer. But that's another story.
Those who are pushing for stricter gun control are pushing from the wrong direction. The Constitution says that the right of individuals to bear arms will not be infringed upon. Nowhere does it empower anyone to manufacture, sell, distribute or import firearms. Seems to me they should be campaigning to outlaw those activities. The only exemptions would be to fill specific orders from the military and law enforcement agencies. Eventually, even though folks could still possess guns, there would be no more guns to possess. Extend the ban to ammunition to speed the attrition process. For good measure, tack on an extra ten years to the sentences of those convicted of committing a crime while in possession of a firearm.
Mark Kelly, husband of former US Representative Gabrielle Giffords, argued before the Senate Judiciary Committee that requiring private sellers of guns to complete background checks and getting those records into the system "will prevent gun crime." Remember the Brady Bill and its seven-day wait requirement? How did that work out for Gabby, there, Major Tom?
* The World Owes Me a Living: Heather Johnson is 22 years old, unemployed, and lives with her mother in mostly upscale Bradenton, a bedroom community a few miles southeast of Tampa. If I had to guess from her picture in the paper, I'd say she weighs in at about 325. Whatever her actual weight, it is clear that she is not suffering from malnutrition.
Heather's pantyhose is in a knot because the Job Corps, to which she has applied for training so she might compete in the job market, has placed a moratorium on applications until at least July because of budget cuts. She does not seem particulary distressed.
"They can pay for my welfare and food stamps, or pay for my education so I can support myself," Heather told a reporter. Either way, somebody is going to have to pay so Heather can at least maintain, if not actually expand, her enormous girth.
Here's a tipper from your ol' Uncle Dave, Heather. How 'bout you get a job emptying bedpans and changing diapers in a nursing home or bagging groceries and stocking shelves in a supermarket, and pay for your own education? Just do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to work in the fast food industry. Okay, Precious?
* Infrastructure vs Bells and Whistles: Detroit is on the verge of bankruptcy. Its annual debt-service cost alone is $597 mil, while its three biggest sources of revenue generate only $538 mil. What's worse, its net assets, which in 2010 were worth $265 mil, now have a negative value. The only question is whether the bankruptcy will be managed politically or through a conventional Chapter 9 court process.
And yet, as I reported in last week's blog, "Light Rail Redux", Detroit is preparing to spend $140 mil on a three-mile streetcar run through its downtown. Tourists, if there actually were any, would presumably be able to enjoy a virtual tour of Beirut without ever having to leave the good ol' US of A.
Does the name "Jabberwocky" mean anything to you?
* Gun Control: I don't have a recipe in this cook-off. I don't have a horse in this race, or a dog in this hunt. Last time I fired a weapon was on a military firing range. I carried a .38 on my hip like a gunslinger when I flew combat support missions, but I never fired one and probably would have hit everything but a target if I had. One crewmember who did was playing with it between launch and orbit when it went off. The bullet penetrated both the fuselage and a wing. Luckily, the bullet was not a tracer. But that's another story.
Those who are pushing for stricter gun control are pushing from the wrong direction. The Constitution says that the right of individuals to bear arms will not be infringed upon. Nowhere does it empower anyone to manufacture, sell, distribute or import firearms. Seems to me they should be campaigning to outlaw those activities. The only exemptions would be to fill specific orders from the military and law enforcement agencies. Eventually, even though folks could still possess guns, there would be no more guns to possess. Extend the ban to ammunition to speed the attrition process. For good measure, tack on an extra ten years to the sentences of those convicted of committing a crime while in possession of a firearm.
Mark Kelly, husband of former US Representative Gabrielle Giffords, argued before the Senate Judiciary Committee that requiring private sellers of guns to complete background checks and getting those records into the system "will prevent gun crime." Remember the Brady Bill and its seven-day wait requirement? How did that work out for Gabby, there, Major Tom?
* The World Owes Me a Living: Heather Johnson is 22 years old, unemployed, and lives with her mother in mostly upscale Bradenton, a bedroom community a few miles southeast of Tampa. If I had to guess from her picture in the paper, I'd say she weighs in at about 325. Whatever her actual weight, it is clear that she is not suffering from malnutrition.
Heather's pantyhose is in a knot because the Job Corps, to which she has applied for training so she might compete in the job market, has placed a moratorium on applications until at least July because of budget cuts. She does not seem particulary distressed.
"They can pay for my welfare and food stamps, or pay for my education so I can support myself," Heather told a reporter. Either way, somebody is going to have to pay so Heather can at least maintain, if not actually expand, her enormous girth.
Here's a tipper from your ol' Uncle Dave, Heather. How 'bout you get a job emptying bedpans and changing diapers in a nursing home or bagging groceries and stocking shelves in a supermarket, and pay for your own education? Just do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to work in the fast food industry. Okay, Precious?
* Infrastructure vs Bells and Whistles: Detroit is on the verge of bankruptcy. Its annual debt-service cost alone is $597 mil, while its three biggest sources of revenue generate only $538 mil. What's worse, its net assets, which in 2010 were worth $265 mil, now have a negative value. The only question is whether the bankruptcy will be managed politically or through a conventional Chapter 9 court process.
And yet, as I reported in last week's blog, "Light Rail Redux", Detroit is preparing to spend $140 mil on a three-mile streetcar run through its downtown. Tourists, if there actually were any, would presumably be able to enjoy a virtual tour of Beirut without ever having to leave the good ol' US of A.
Does the name "Jabberwocky" mean anything to you?
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