Would You Eat This?

Years of gallivating around the planet exposed me to any number of culinary opportunities.  Some were to die for; others...well, possibly to die of.

Some foods might have been good, but I just couldn't get to the point of actually biting into them.  Folks who have eaten snake tell me it tastes just like chicken.  My response is, fine, then I'll just have chicken.  Calamari?  Pass.  Escargot?  Pass the barf bag.  Caviar?  Please!

When I went through both survival and jungle survival schools I was introduced to all the grubs, insects, rodents and other skin-crawling fauna I could use to ward off starvation.  I determined then that, given that menu, I was very likely going to die.

Stuff I have tried that I wish I hadn't include saimin, a raw fish and noodle dish I sampled in Hawaii.  I ordered steak and kidney pie once in Edinburgh, just to see what made this one of Britain's specialty dishes.  I'm still trying to figure it out.  Once in the good ol' US of A I ordered anchovies on a pizza.  I know, right?

During this process of tasting, or passing on, various foods, I did find some gems.  Kobe steak in Thailand is one, a hunk of beef (water buffalo?) the size of a large baked potato the thought of which still makes me drool.  I became addicted to Mongolian barbecue in Taiwan, where, incidently, I also enjoyed exquisite Russian soup.  The best lasagna I ever had was not in Italy, but came from a brick oven at the Rummel Brewery in Darmstadt.

Of course, here at home I have my favorite foods and know just where to get them:  rotisserie pulled pork sandwich piled high with deep-fried onion strings in Wisconsin at Lake Geneva's Popeye's, chicken pot pie at any Bakers Square, gyros at Seminole's Greek Village, Cuban sandwiches at Columbia's on Sand Key, Skyline chili in either Cincinnati or Clearwater, etc, etc, ad yummy.

All this is by way of intro to a "Tampa Bay Times" column by Sean Daly, wherein he describes new items available at the Florida State Fair.

* Pizza cone:  Find it difficult to walk around the fairgrounds while trying to eat a sagging slice of pizza, the toppings of which are sliding off onto your shirt or the ground?  No problem!  Here, the pizza crust is shaped into a cone and filled with six ounces of the toppings of your choice, plus enough cheese "to feed an entire family in Wisconsin."

* Cereal chicken on a stick:  Take a plank of white-meat chicen and coat it with your choice of cereals:  Cap'n Crunchy, Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, Rice Krispies or Honey Bunches of Oats.  Deep fry it and, if you prefer, drizzle it with peanut butter or marshmallow.  You ask me, it's a waste of good chicken.  But what do I know?

* "Redneck with attitude" burger:  Place a hamburger patty on a bun.  Pile it high with fired bologna, potato sticks, baked beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles.  Daly found it "AWESOME," but seeing as how I hate fried bologna I doubt I would share his recommendation.

* Pumpkin spice funnel cake:  Added to the already famous red velvet funnel cake are new flavors pumpkin spice with frosted drizzle, pecans and "frenzy of powdered sugar," and pineapple inside out.

Well, it's like Hannibal explained to the little boy just before he fed him a tidbit of FBI agent Krindler's brain:  "You should try new things."

Fair enough.  You first.