It's Only Money

It never bodes well when clueless Cher exercises more restraint at the mall with daddy's credit card than the city, state and local governments do when on spending sprees with tax revenue.

A few years ago, Clearwater Beach decided it would be a super, neat-o, peachy-keen idea to install a roundabout at the intersection which distributes incoming traffic from Clearwater north to Mandalay and south to its business district.  Roundabouts are distinctly European, which means they are foreign to us and require some cultural adjustment to begin with.  But officials decided to go all artsy-fartsy and place a huge fountain right in its middle, at a cost of a million and change.

Gee, you might well ask, what's wrong with that?  Good question, but not the right one.  See, there's a constant breeze blowing from one direction or another, to one degree or another.  So, not only did drivers find themselves trying to navigate through unfamiliar environs, they had to do so while drops of mist from the fountain gathered upon and cascaded down their windshields.  Before they were crushed under the weight of all the ensuing complaints, those very same officials approved another million and change to have the fountain removed.

The right question is, of course, why no one raised a hand to suggest that perhaps a deluge of windborne water upon a heavily-trafficked and challenging gauntlet of lane changing and merging might result in more "accidents" than those experienced nine months after a major urban power outage.

Last week's blog, "Business Start-up Model", described how state and county governments joined together in an effort to fund the realization of new ideas through up-front grants of millions of dollars, with no oversight or follow-up to protect their investments.  Much of this money has disappeared faster than a deadbeat dad faced with having to make back child support payments.

But the hands-down greatest waster of taxpayer bucks is the federal government.

After Hurricanes Katrina and Rita dramatically demonstrated the folly of building one's house in what is essentially a below-sea level bowl right between the one and three pins of hurricane alley, HUD thought that if folks are going to remain there it might be super, neat-o, peachy-keen idea to put their houses up on stilts.  You know, so future storm surges will just lap at the front door instead of washing away the whole place.  And so the feds coughed up $700 million to help 24,000 Louisiana families elevate their homes.

You could tell where this was going, even though the feds clearly could not.  HUD's own inspector general said that, surprise, surprise, the $700 mil may have been misspent.  The IG's report said some homeowners who got grants of up to $30,000 used the money for something else, and that others didn't provide sufficient documents to show the work was done.  Well, duh!

Here's a tip from your ol' Uncle Dave.  When someone hits you up for money to fund some necessary repair, pay for medical care, or get the water or electric turned back on, do not send a nickel.  Instead, contact the billing agency and pay it directly.  Sure, this approach post-hurricane would have cost the feds more money, but the work would have been done and maybe, just maybe, we will not have to rebuild that cesspool the next time the weather gods decide to flush it out.

But you know what the real irony, the real tragedy is?  When the agency responsible for collecting your taxes itself fritters away the revenue.

Charged with the filing of fraudulent income tax returns, Rashia "First Lady" Wilson, 27, of Tampa, was described by the judge who heard her case as "a woman with a learning disability and a seventh-grade education."  He wondered, as do I, how such a person, along with her sometime boyfriend, Maurice "Thirst" Larry, 27, could rip off the IRS to the tune of $2.24 million.

"Did you have any trouble preparing the income tax returns?" asked the judge.

"No, sir," she replied.

On one return, e-filed from a hotel using a stolen ID, she claimed a refund of $9,987.  In two weeks, the refund was directed to a reloadable debit card.

The judge accepted her guilty pleas on charges of wire fraud and identity theft, but had some scathing remarks for the IRS.

"I want to know why the people in the IRS aren't paying more attention to what's going on," said the judge.  "I'm focusing on their failure, not hers."

And so should we all, Judge.  So should we all.