Editorial Arrogance

The "Tampa Bay Times" is actually the "St Petersburg Times" renamed.  It aspires to regional import, to establish itself as the necessary guiding light and moral compass for a five-county area.  Hence the name change.

Like an Italian cruise ship, it has started listing to the left.  Assuming the mantel of "Izvestia" of the west, it added columnist Robyn Blumner to its editorial board to increase its leftist cred.  Robyn is a case study of the DRD4 gene run amok.

Recently I was able to penetrate the "Times" editorial boardroom with my bugbot.  Let's give a listen....

"I've noticed we've been spending a lot of time on our neighbors to the east.  Tampa and Hillsborough County have absolutely no clue as to what they should be about.  We're not making much progress with showing them the way."

"I know, right?  I mean, look at their transportation system.  It's a disaster!  Why don't they have light rail?"

"I blame President Reagan!"

"Robyn, Robyn.  Reagan has been out of office for decades."

"Okay, then, I blame..., uh, who was the next guy?"

"George Bush."

"I blame President Bush!"

"Which one?"

"There was more than one?"

"And we have to stop those developers from building that high-rise condo tower on that little postage stamp-size downtown parcel that overlooks the river.  There's gotta be some bug, or lizard, or something that'll lose its habitat."

"Hey, let's not forget Channelside.  It's supposed to be this big entertainment complex, and there it sits, emptier than Tropicana for a Rays game!"

"I blame Governor Scott!"

"Robyn, please!  Sure, he's a Republican, but he hasn't anything to do with Channelside."

"So what?  It's enough that he's a Republican!  By definition, he's got to be to blame for something!"

"You know, our omniscience could also be used to resolve problems on our side of the Bay.  Oh, if they'd only just listen to us!"

"Yeah.  It's not like the mayor's office is of any use.  The incumbent is a wuss.  We've had three debates where one of the mayoral candidates didn't even show, afraid she'd make a fool of herself by sounding like the airhead she is."

"What about the new pier?  First the city council okays its design, then backs down in the face of a protest by some malcontents--I mean, community activists--and now the whole thing is in limbo."

"I blame Mayor Baker!"

"Foster, Robyn!  Mayor Foster!"

"Oh.  Oh, yeah.  I blame Mayor Foster!"

"I move that we keep harping on Tampa and Hillsborough.  We don't want anyone over here on our case, now do we?  We can beat up on the other side of the Bay all we want without antagonizing our advertising base.  All in favor?"